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The way we support folks exploring adoption and making plans for adoption is different than you might imagine. Hopefully, after reading this, you walk away with some comfort, curiosity and a bit more understanding of what to expect in the process.

I want to start by introducing myself and how I approach this work because it is foundational to what we do at JustChoice. I learned about adoption from Molly, who founded JustChoice (formerly Choice Network), on a simple belief: an adoption plan can’t be ethical unless all options are presented and explored.

I arrive at this work as someone who has done—and continues to do—healing work both professionally and personally. My background is in trauma therapy and children’s services/family policing. Beyond that, I was born to a teen mother who was a rape survivor in a small town in a Catholic family. She didn’t get options counseling, and I can’t say if she had, she would have made a different choice. But what I do know is that she deserved to have information, support, and options.

I share this to say: I don’t just understand complexity and nuance—I have grappled with it and sat in the whole, messy middle. I know what it’s like to have had decisions made about your life without your consent. I was brought up in a home where the lack of space for complexity and nuance was painful—a child forced to be a mom to a baby that she did not consent to. I share this to demonstrate that we can share the weight of nuance, and hopefully, to build trust as you begin to explore your pregnancy options with us.

We are the first place in the nation where a pregnant person can show up and get real information and services for parenting, adoption, and abortion in one place. We believe only you know what’s right for you, and we are here to help you as you arrive at that option. I am not invested in a particular outcome for you.

So when you call, what is it like?

I approach every call and text with a pregnant person as though they were my mother or my sister, and I train my staff the same way. Our team is small but mighty, and we try to make it easy for you to access us. If you call, you get me. If you prefer to text, we make that work too.

We approach each person who finds us as an individual. Your story, your life, your pregnancy, and your needs are all unique. A cookie-cutter standard operating procedure isn’t what I would want my mom to get—so it’s not what you get.

It’s helpful for me to get to know you and your current circumstances that have you considering adoption. I try to really get to know you and your needs. I follow your lead, and I in no way expect you to tell me your deepest, darkest, hardest things in the first call. When you’re ready, we talk about why you’re considering adoption, what’s going into that decision, and whether it’s a temporary crisis. Do you see a way out? What resources would be helpful? Or, have you already thought this through? No matter where you are, we are there with you—not to save you, but to see you in the struggle.

Another way our approach is different: You don’t have to pick a family to begin getting living expense support. We don’t want you to feel pressured. You pick a family when you are ready, and that is not tied to your living expenses.

What are living expenses?
Every state views living expenses differently and has different laws. The general rule in most states is that expenses must be “reasonable,” and they can cover things like rent, transportation, utilities, internet, phone, food, and clothing—anything you need to carry a healthy pregnancy to term. We try to make this unique to you. Some agencies do gift cards, and that’s it. We try to be flexible when and how we can. I often have groceries delivered same day. We pay rent to your landlord, or if you’re staying with someone, we can ensure you stay stable and housed by paying them rent. If you are unhoused, we help you navigate the housing/homeless system where you are to get you access to resources, while providing safe, stable housing for you at a hotel or short-term rental. We pick the place you’re staying with you—because you know you best. We want you to have sustainable and secure housing so we will explore all resources available to you while also making sure you are safe in temporary housing.

We make sure all your benefits are in place and that you’re getting food assistance, WIC, and Medicaid. We help you access counseling if that’s something you want. We have peer supports who have made parenting plans, adoption plans, and chosen abortion that you can chat with if that is helpful to you.

When you’re ready to talk about and look at families, you have options too.

All of our families are available to view on your own on our website. You can take that approach, or if that’s too much to look at everyone, you can essentially use me as your filter. What’s important to you? Same-sex couples? Straight families? Kids? No kids? Geographic location? Beliefs? Whatever is important to you, we filter that way. And if that’s a lot and you aren’t sure yet, we start there—by exploring what is important to you in the family you pick.

We also talk through and explore what you want the relationship and openness to look like in the future. All of the families that work with us do so because they are aligned with our values on women having choice and autonomy over their body, and because they value and want a super open adoption. While each state has different laws about openness and whether or not it is enforceable—please know that the heart of all our families is for your child to know you and their story. If openness feels scary, that’s okay. We follow your lead, and the family will be ready to have communication and contact when you are ready.

Openness can look like texting, phone calls, regular photo shares, emails, and in-person time together. Most families, unless they live in the same city, plan for 1–3 visits a year. But again—you decide what you want and when you want it. Some radical examples of openness: grandparents being babysitters for the adoptive family, a birth mom living with the adoptive family, and regular family vacations together. This is your journey, and when we say you decide, we really mean it.

Please don’t worry about how you will travel. That is a burden the family will manage—either they will come to you or pay for your travel to come to them.

Once you pick one or a few families, then when you’re ready, you connect with them via text or phone call. Most people prefer text, but you decide. We facilitate these connections in a way that makes you feel comfortable, but also allows you to get to know the family without me in the middle. I find it allows you and them to be more free to be yourselves and not feel the need to perform.

Once you get to know the families, many moms want to meet in person—you can meet with one or multiple families. Once you decide, I let the families you didn’t pick know. You don’t have to sit in the messy middle of that—that’s why you have me.

If you are interested in accessing treatment, we’ve got you.
Whatever mental health or substance treatment you want to check out, we will help. And if you aren’t ready for treatment and that’s not what you want, we won’t pressure you. We take a harm reduction approach, centering you and your safety.

If you aren’t already engaged in prenatal care, we will support you in finding a doctor who will see you—no matter how far along you are in your pregnancy. We will call on your behalf and then bring you into the call so you aren’t running around trying to chase appointments or dealing with judgmental medical assistant staff. We want you to feel supported, held, and cared for in this process.

Reach out today.